“The one who hears you hears me, and the one who rejects you rejects me, and the one who rejects me rejects him who sent me.” Luke 10:16
Have you ever received a “no” that you were not expecting?
A “no” that shocked you to your core?
A “no” that threw off the next year of your life?
Yesterday, I talked to a sweet friend of mine who is dealing with the hardest “no” of her life.
After months of trying to get pregnant, she and her husband made the daunting appointment to visit a specialist. Their world came crashing down around them when she was told “no” you cannot have kids.
It’s been months since she received the news, and the wound still feels fresh.
But let me tell you, this woman has a crazy faith. Just yesterday she told me that even though her heart breaks for the kids she will never have biologically, her heart yearns for the ones she hopes to adopt.
She told me yesterday: “It’s strange how God can use even the saddest of ‘no’s’ to grow you in ways you could have never imagined.
Have you ever faced a no that made you want to get into bed and never come out?
Some “no’s” are so large they feel like they are going to break you. Other “no’s” aren’t as large, but still can make you question yourself and all too often, God’s plan for your life.
When I’ve experienced rejection in life, I’ve done a few different things.
- Crawled up in a ball of blankets, binge-watched Netflix, and hide in my bed until I felt like I had to come out.
- I accepted the “no” and moved on.
- I learned from the “no” and moved forward, confident in God’s provision.
I mean I think you can guess which one is the healthiest for you.
The times I chose #1, I didn’t heal healthfully. The times I chose #2 I didn’t move forward properly. The times I chose #3 I watched as my faith in God grew.
Choose 3 friends. Choose to learn from each no. Learn spiritually, learn mentally, and learn developmentally.
There are two things I want you to avoid when you face a scary and intimidating “no.”
1. Stop with a negative interpretation
One of the first times that I faced rejection was when I tried out for a school play. I remember getting cast as an extra and thinking “you’ve got to be kidding me.”
My thoughts of annoyance quickly turned to thoughts of self-doubt.
“I’m not good enough”
“I’ll never find something I’m passionate about”
“I’m going to be stuck doing nothing for the rest of my LIFE”
The truth is, it’s easy to take a bad situation and make it worse by walking into all the possible negative landmines.
When you face rejection, turn your sin-nature negative interpretation into grace-nature positive interpretation.
Instead of thinking negative thoughts, think of how you can grow from the situation!
It will help you stop the vicious cycle of negativity that all too often leads to bitterness.
Also remember: when you are facing “no” it doesn’t mean God is rejecting you or something you want to do. It might mean he is protecting you from something. It might mean he is steering you in a different direction. Or it might mean that He simply wants you to take a different route.
But know: there is always a reason.
Friends, the Bible does not say “we will make our paths straight,” the Bible says “He will make our paths straight.”
Remember that when you start to question the purpose of the “no’s.”
2. Stop with the “if only’s”
We talked about the dangers of “if only” the other day!
It’s easy when rejected to think God’s goodness is limited. It’s easy to put Him in a box, and say, “maybe he just forgot about me.” Or to question “doesn’t He say He gives us the desires of our hearts? This was my desire, Lord!!”
Whenever you start to slip in this mentality quickly remind yourself of these truths.
- His plan is better than our plan ANY day.
- He sometimes needs to prune us in order to get us to where we need to be.
- He is sovereign. Anything that happens, He allows to happen – seek the purpose behind things.
Do NOT allow “if only’s” to control your thoughts.
When you start to question if you are good enough, realize that you are only believing a lie that the enemy is putting in your head.
God doesn’t want us in an “if only” mindset, He wants us in a “God only” mindset. What do I mean by that? Remember who made you and who set you apart.
The enemy wants you to take rejection and bury it deep in your heart. He encourages you to feel worthless, stupid and failed.
God wants the opposite for you. He wants you to know you are worthy, and that “no’s” are there for a reason – and that reason is to not harbor negative feelings.
You are made with purpose, and with divine care. Keep moving forward despite the “no’s” you receive, and leave the “If only’s” behind because you know the one who holds the master plan.
Thoughts For The Day
Have you experienced a “no” recently that you were not expecting? Or maybe a “no” that you were determined would be a yes?
How did you react to this rejection? Did you learn from it and move forward, or did you let it consume your every being?
Bible verses to look up: Psalm 66:16-20, Romans 5:13, Romans 8:31, 1 Corinthians 3:16